Worst. Week. Ever.*

Or, at least of 2010. Which hopefully bodes well for the other 50 weeks of the year. Dear Zeus: please to make the rest of the year a bit more bearable.

Bad things of the week: turned down for two jobs (oops, make that three - just got another email), broke my favorite plate, haven't gotten a decent night of sleep all week, and had the absolute WORST dr. visit yesterday. Wow, I'm not sure that that visit could have made me feel any worse about myself. (Except maybe if they told me I had terminal cancer or something. Although, I wouldn't feel bad about MYSELF per se, I'd feel bad that I was going to die.)

Yeah, I know, it doesn't sound that bad, but jeez, it has just seemed like it was one thing after another after another after..you get the point.

Most of the stuff is self-explanatory, but I will explain the doctor thing. I haven't allowed myself to see my actual weight intentionally in a good 6 or 7 years. Considering I've had body image/weight issues for as long as I can remember, the only way I can stay sane is to completely ignore the actual number. It works for me, normally. Well, yesterday, I decided since I've been (literally) running my ass off since July, I would be able to handle the actual number. Boy, I don't think I could have been more wrong. I go in, already in somewhat of a bad mood, and I get on the scale, and had to hold back the tears, ALREADY. Yep, between November 2008 and January 2010, a good 14 month period where I consciously worked on bettering myself and getting into better shape, I lost a grand total of..wait for it, wait for it..FOUR POUNDS. FOUR POUNDS. The poor nurse practitioner. She came in and started to tell me how I needed to be 18 pounds (!) lighter to be at my ideal BMI. I a)couldn't believe I was being told I needed to lose weight after all my hard work and b)completely lost it and was almost inconsolable.

Needless to say, I won't be looking at the actual number again for a VERY long time. I'm thinking another 10 years needs to be put between me and the scales. Jeebus. I left the dr.'s office completely defeated and feeling pretty worthless, I won't lie. Unfortunately for me, my self-worth has deep deep ties to how I look physically.

Then, the most absolutely remarkable thing happened. I got a phone call from one of my favorite people in the entire world, my BFF** Christina who was also my roommate in England. We don't get to talk very often because our schedules are so different (she still lives in England), so we have to schedule our talking time either pretty far in advance, or catch each other on the off chance that the other is available randomly. To make communication MORE complicated, I can't call her on my phone, so its really on her end to call me. Suffice it to say, when we get to talk, I'm usually in an infinitely better mood.

Christa called to tell me an extremely funny story about a mutual acquaintance of ours with whom she'd had a recent encounter. It was quite delightful to hear the story, and it really made my evening. But, what really cheered me up and made everything all better was how the conversation began. She called to tell me the aforementioned story, but also to tell me she had finally gotten my Christmas card. Her exact words, "You look so great! How much weight have you lost?" I burst into laughter and we had a good laugh for the next five minutes about my horrible dr. appointment, and how insane the whole scenario was.

I honestly could not have asked for a better way to end the week/day. I'm not a believer in the adage that everything happens for a reason, but I am a believer in the idea that positive interactions with people make all the difference in the world. Especially for me. In literally a 30 minute conversation, my entire week was instantly forgotten and I relaxed. Its the most amazing feeling.

Here's to a better week next week. Not only for me, but also for the Haitians going through the horrible aftermath of the earthquake.

*And, although somewhat permanently locked in a self-serving stupor, I do realize my week PALES (to an unbelievable degree) in comparison to the happenings in Haiti, plus the loss of a dear classmate this week. I fully recognize that this is a whiny, annoying, and extremely ungrateful blog post.

**To clarify, Christina is my BFF from England. Kristen is my BFF from college/life. (Better, K?)